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Writing for me (also: bye!)

3 minute read

On the mark again, bing image creator!
No, not bye for good! Just, after ten days, I’ve decided this 30-day writing challenge isn’t for me. I’ve got plenty of little reasons, each uninteresting as the last, but ultimately: I don’t have 30 days worth of things to write about. I’ve already had to force myself to write some uninteresting crap just to get a post out on more than one occasion. The first few days ideas were fairly available - I’ve got some unique experiences and thus at least a few worthwhile things to write about. But not 30 days worth of them. I don’t think I could keep up writing a post a day for three more weeks. Oh, sure I could physically. But it’d probably suck. After a good bit of thinking, I was only able to think of a few more things I’d be excited to write about. More will come with time, but for now I don’t want to force out content that bores me.
Maybe this is all just an excuse. Maybe I should write the stuff that I don’t want to because I don’t want to. Because I’m doing this to get over my perfectionism and this perfectionism and this pickiness sounds pretty damn perfectionistic. But honestly, I don’t want to make writing unfun. On principle I avoid forcing myself to do stuff that I don’t want to do without a good reason. No sense in creating unnecessary resentment. And I think that’s exactly what I’d do here.
Looking back at the stuff I’ve written, it’s pretty clear I was writing for me. Oh, sure, I framed most of it written as advice - but ultimately it was pretty damn self-indulgent. I appreciated the opportunity to hammer out the stuff that’s made me the way I am, record what I believe, and have a hell of a fun time doing it. I guess that was my goal all along. I’m pretty satisfied with what I’ve got, even if I didn’t stick in for the full 30 days. I don’t feel like I’m quitting per se - just that I got what I came for. Probably why the ideas I have left to write about feel so much less fun is because they achieve this less well. So I’ll definitely keep writing blog posts on a weekly-monthly basis, but I don’t wanna write shit for a whole month just to reach some stupid goal. Life’s supposed to be fun, after all!
Righty-o then, toodles!

Published Jan 18, 2024

"But what kind of freedom does one have if one can use it only as someone else prescribes?"